Cynical Bitch Muppet
My name is Meredith and I'm a Unitarian Universalist stuck in Oklahoma.
nobody irl understands when I say this

nobody irl understands when I say this

(Source: scythelliot)

I’m afraid I’m easy to forget.
Six Word Story (via jappan)

(Source: thesixwordlovestory)

(Source: people.com)

the-lonely-bastard:

wereallalittle-mad:

zazzybuttcheeks:

plur-panda:





aw shit get it wednesday

HA! I almost forgot to reblog this today 

Every Wednesday from now on. 

Its wednesday yo


this never comes on my dash at the right time anymore :( i think i went two weeks without it and now i’m reblogging it on a thursday

GOD DAMN YES FINALLY BLOGGED IT ON A WEDNESDAY

WEDNESDAY!

the-lonely-bastard:

wereallalittle-mad:

zazzybuttcheeks:

plur-panda:

aw shit get it wednesday

HA! I almost forgot to reblog this today 

Every Wednesday from now on. 

Its wednesday yo

this never comes on my dash at the right time anymore :( i think i went two weeks without it and now i’m reblogging it on a thursday

GOD DAMN YES FINALLY BLOGGED IT ON A WEDNESDAY

WEDNESDAY!

(Source: get-on-the-carousel)

How To Make My Special Grilled Cheese Sandwich

thefrenemy:

imageYou Will Need:
-Two Slices of Bread
-4-5 Slices Of The Cheese of My Choice. MY Choice. Pro-Choice. Not Your Choice. AMERICAN.
-Get your Nasty Hands Off Me. Don’t even look at me. Butter. Yes, I am licking the knife please do not look in my face.
-Me, Who Has Had It Up To Here and can wear lipstick if she wants to, and can have sex if she wants to, everybody leave me alone. Make me a sandwich. DON’T YOU MAKE A LADY SANDWICH JOKE. I don’t want to make this. You do it for me. Misandry! I’m sorry. Love me. Get away!!!

Cooking Time:
If you’re hungry, about as long as it feels to wait on a bathroom line when you really have to pee. If you enjoy cooking, however, this takes about as long as the weekend felt. Please remember, however, time is fleeting and you are dying. The weekend is gone and you will never see it again.

To Make:
-Construct the sandwich. Gender is a Construct and you are a woman if you SAY you are a woman and identify as one. Stop being assholes about this. Why is everybody an asshole
-Okay, well usually you just need to put the slices of cheese on the bread but this time I’m gonna add all the condiments and everything in my fridge, but placed in this sandwich. Mustard. Tomatoes. Pickles. Old, very suspicious Canned Jalapenos. This Ranch is old but I’ll keep it in the fridge in case I need it. Do you notice we’re not talking about Nutella as much anymore? Could I fit Chicken Nuggets in this? Tempeh Bacon? I want to unhinge my jaw to eat this and become a great and evil and magnificent jaw-unhinged spirit.
-Heat up the stove. Put in the butter, about a tablespoon, way too soon and it doesn’t melt at all and you have to watch it. OR put it in way too late and watch it sizzle and burn into a deep black tar. In the armssss of the angelllll flyy awaaaay from here
-Text
- Wait for a text back.
-Plop sandwich in who gives a shit
-This little guy is never going to brown. It’s gonna burn and the cheese is gonna stay as cold as me when I want to avoid you on the subway.
-I am done with you, Game Of Thrones
-Leave me alone. I want to eat this forever. I will eat this in two bites, standing up by the stove and then when trying to put a show on but I keep sneaking bites and I can’t find anything on Netflix.
-Don’t look at me. I love you. Please wash my plate.

I legitimately can’t stop laughing!

hints-of-sarcasm:

There needs to be a phrase for “I acknowledge your apology and appreciate it but it does not make things better.” instead of just saying “It’s okay.” all the time. 

lielabell:

rainbowrites:

thehoodbox:

fireandshellamari:

kathaderon:

Deathigner - short film

..In which the children of the gods of Death attend  reaper-school.

Look at this ADORABLE short film.

WATCH THIS. This is so fucking cute that I started to cry

god, this is so sweet. And I really loved how they had different death gods too, even more than the 3 we focused on. All the different cultural Deaths

That was the cutest ting EVER

A word about bronies.

saintcheshire:

So I just got back last night from a brony convention in San Francisco. I was working a booth for a vendor friend, and let me tell you what happened:

We met a little girl who was there with her family. She got a button drawn at our booth, told us all about her favorite…

(Source: princess-nietzsche)

bizzareandbeautiful:

This is my favorite thing on the internet.

(Source: elboburnham)

(Source: sexual-passion)

Convo I just had with my dad

  • Dad: hey I'm gonna go grocery shopping do you need anything?
  • Me: uuuhhh....
  • Me: contemplates wether or not I should ask him to get me pads since I need them desperately
  • Dad: anything at all?
  • Me: uh... Yeah.... Can you get me some pads
  • Dad: Sure
  • Me: Are you serious? Wouldn't you be embarrassed?
  • Dad: Natalie, I'm a 56 year old man who has been buying pads for your mother for over 20 years. No I'm not embarrassed.
  • Me: But I thought guys get squirmish when we ask them to buy this stuff for us
  • Dad: boys are squirmish. Men will step out and buy you as many pads and tampons as you need. A man will understand that you cannot control your cycle and that this is a natural bodily process. So, if you ever find a guy who's too embarrassed to buy you pad just bleed on everything he owns.
  • Me: OMG DAD

restlesslyaspiring:

pearlsandink:

Men’s Rights Activists.

OH MY GOD THIS IS A PERFECT REPRESENTATION

(Source: unbreakablesoul)